Weaker Than This
by Koudelka
Summary: Sequal to Stronger Than This. Read. It's done.
1.

Fujin never came home. Why am I scared? Why can't I cope with being alone? I'm Seifer Almasy; I'm supposed to be good like that... Raijin's here. I'm still alone. I want to be alone... No... I want to stop living lies. I stood up, and walked into the bedroom. Yes, I went straight to her dresser, where I reached inside the top draw, and pulled out that picture. Oh, surely you remember, the one Fujin dropped and broke the other day. I never got to see who it was. Now was a good time. I picked it up, and looked at it. Just as I presumed, me. And I swear, there must have been a sliver of glass left in the frame, because something definitly came flying out- and stabbed me in the heart.  
  
THE SEQUEL.  
  
STRONGER to  
WEAKER 


	2. 

I never went anywhere with Seth. As a matter of a fact, I couldn't even bare to go see him... After all I had done. I told him everything about what happened with Seifer, which I had no place doing. Though, maybe I needed to talk, and that was all... Just open up to someone... Though I know now, and all too late, that that someone needed to be Seifer.  
  
I couldn't bare myself anymore. I mean, I was pretty sure I hadn't hurt Seifer, but I know I hurt me... So, it was two days later that I headed home. When I got there, the house was silent. The silence was so loud my ears literally hurt. I said nothing, for I was afraid if I even whispered his name, everything in the house would shatter. So, the silence remained, and I just sat on the sofa, pressing my knees together and planting my hands atop them, clasped together, like a child, awaiting a punishment.  
  
"Fujin." At this point, my heart began to pound. I became so confused that I could not recognize the voice. Was it Raijin or Seifer? I was afraid to turn.  
  
"YES?"  
  
"Where've you been?"  
  
"...HOTEL."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I just needed a break."  
  
"From what?" From what? This question stumped me. Seifer, of course was the answer, but that wasn't the part that I knew not how to answer. It was if I should answer this one. I stood up and walked straight toward the window, not wanting to go toward where this man was. I was pretty sure it was Seifer now, and I didn't care to see his face, which most likely held a sadistic pleasure from my returning.  
  
"Well..." I started.  
  
"Oh, shut up. I didn't mean for you to answer, I know you were running from me." I could feel his breath at the back of my neck now, and I knew he had approached, so I turned swiftly, and looked straight into his eyes, glaring, but I wouldn't give him the pleasure of a full glare. My glance lasted but a second, and that's when I went into my room. I shivered, but not because I was cold, it was just that I felt like a ghost, coming back here like this... Just walking in. I felt as though I didn't belong... Maybe I should move away... Seifer entered.  
  
"Fujin..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm sorry..." ...  
  
"F-for what? Y-you didn't do anything."  
  
"...You know I did. I know I did. I dunno about you, but I know I regret it, and there are some things I have to say before you decide to move away..."  
  
"Okay..." I sat on my bed, turning to face him. I caught him looking at my stomach, which was growing in size... And he smiled...?  
  
"Fujin... I'm a fuck. No wait... I shouldn't have said that... I mean... shit, I screwed up... Yeah."  
  
"Wow, those words are powerful, coming from you..."  
  
"...Yeah, well..."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"I'm really sorry. And, really, I know that doesn't cut it. But, I'm sorry about not treating you right when you were younger. I'm sorry for trying to fall off that cliff and failing to do so..." !!  
  
"Don't say that."  
  
"Whatever. I'm also sorry for hitting you. I'm sorry about Seth, I'm sorry for not letting you have your freedom. I'm sorry about Shanai..." He remembers that?!  
  
"You... remember her?"  
  
"...Yeah, how could I forget that...? I mean, she died...-" I cut in.  
  
"No, I killed her."  
  
"Fujin, no, she died because you decided to save me so I could fuck up your life..."  
  
"Seifer, look, I was gonna kill one of you... I... just... knew... that I... love- *liked*you..." Shit, shit, shit.  
  
"...Please, don't call it killing..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Anyway..." I found it odd that we were discussing this for the first time many years after it happened, or therefore mattered... But... maybe this meant he changed a little...  
  
"I'm also sorry about impregnating you..." His voice trailed off.  
  
"Seifer... I can't take care of it by myself..." I could feel water forming in my eye. This had to stop... I can't cry, not in front of him. Not again!  
  
"...I'll help you."  
  
"Why?" I asked.   
  
"Well... It took me several years to realize, but, Fuu... I..." Just then Raijin burst through the door.  
  
"HIDE ME!" He yelled. What's going on?!  
  
"That's gonna be hard. What... the... fuck? Man, what the hell?" Seifer says, standing up, and instinctively drawing his Hyperion out.  
  
"Raijin! Explain!"  
  
"Th-ey're after me!"  
  
"WHO?"  
  
"Yeah..." Seifer added, looking around.  
  
"The sorceress...! I was-" He got cut off by something. He just stopped.  
  
"Raijin...?" I asked. That's when I seen the red liquid that started to pour out of his mouth. I grasped Seifer's arm, letting a small, gasp escape me.  
  
"Shit... Raijin!??" He twisted his face up in pain in horror as he fell to ground, and thats when we seen the wound on his back, as if someone had just shoved their entire hand through his back. I was shocked. Could he really be dead? Was I alone, with Seifer...? I couldn't do this, no... no... no... Too many people are dying... Memories of Shanai flooded back, and I wondered if Raijin's death was indeed my fault also.  
  
"He's dead, Fujin, lets get the fuck out of here." And he pulled me out of the house.  
  
When we got outside, the sky was a black I'd never seen before. There was no moon, there was no sun. There was nothing. People were running around, screaming, wondering what was going on, and I was surprised at how protectively Seifer held my arm. We were running blindly, and I didn't know where we were in Balamb, and that scared me.  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Shh, Fujin, just keep moving."  
  
"Do you even know where you're going...?!" With this, he gave my arm a firm tug, and led my far, far away from the ocean, all the way to the other side of Balamb. The next thing that happened was my hearing a large boom, and everything started to shake. Seifer stopped.  
  
"Fuck." Buildings started to collapse, killing much more than many, and Seifer pulled me close to him.  
  
"Fuu."  
  
"Mm?" I looked around nervously, wondering if I would die too... But more importantly, my baby, and Seifer.  
  
"Just to let you know... I love you." He said it so fast I didn't know whether I heard him correctly or not... I was already confused and not feeling so well as it was.  
  
"I love you too." I had to tell him anyway. The building in front of us started to shake. An elderly woman behind me shreiked something in Spanish, and held a baby to her bosom.  
  
"We'll die!!!" She screamed in English.  
  
"S-seifer..." I said, tugging on him. He wouldn't move.  
  
"SEIFER!" He didn't flinch. So, I hit him, hard, right across the face.   
  
"Go."  
  
"SEIFER! And leave you here?!" The building started to move, and this huge chunk of concrete came tumbling down. I pushed Seifer as hard as I could, and all I felt, was pain, and heard a baby cry. I was so insane by now, I thought it was mine. 


	3. 

I woke up with the body of an old woman over me, and in between me and her, a baby, who was sobbing, and screaming for it's mother. Why couldn't I move? What the fuck was wrong with me? Where's Fujin!? I stood up, picking up the baby without second thought, and knocking the old woman off of me. It took a struggle for me to get out of the rubble, and once I got up, I could hardly see anything. Everything was still dark, and the whole town was rubble. As soon as the dust cleared, I could see about a dozen people far away, probably looking for lost loved ones.  
  
"Fujin!" I yelled at the top of my voice. The baby continued to cry, and I almost put it down, but realized how injust it was. Imagine, someone like me imagining something like that. I searched and searched, with a crying baby in my arms for Fujin, for twelve hours.  
  
Now, you can probably imagine how I felt when the Mercenaries from Balamb Garden came in to pick up survivors. One SeeD came up to me, and stared at me.  
  
"What?" I snapped, lifting another peice of rubble.  
  
"Is that your baby...?" I looked around, and remembered how harsh life was for me at the orphanage which is just where the sleeping baby would end up.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"...I see. Well, all survivors are to report back to Garden with a list of missing persons."  
  
"No...! Not until I find Fujin."  
  
"I see." He jotted something down on a peice of paper, that was probably a missing person list.  
  
"Last name?"  
  
"Almasy."  
  
"I see..."  
  
"Well... We'll see what happens, you can just head over there to that man in white."  
  
"Fine." I was sent to Balamb Garden, where I got a temporary dorm, as all survivors did. I stared over at the little baby laying on my pillow, and it almost made me cry... Goddamnit, why'd I have to treat Fujin so awfully...? Fuck... Suddenly, the baby on the bed started to gurgle, and that's when it's place in my heart shown, but I knew it was there since the second I found the thing.  
  
As I lay on my bed, I wonder what Raijin did... Probably in kahutz with the sorceress, whoever the fuck she was... I stared down at the little infant laying with me, contently sucking on it's foot, with puffy eyes from crying so hard. I felt bad, and prayed that Fujin... and my baby (which I now wanted) was alright. Things happened to me that night as I watched that baby sleep, waiting for it's mother to return. I realized how much I loved Fujin, and how badly I treated her. I also got these really cool new things called emotions. And I vowed, from the day Fujin got back, that I'd treat her as if she was the most important person in my life... And she was.  
  
However, my emotions came way too late, because the next morning, they found her body, and she was dead. 


	4. 

A few months later, Fujin was sitting in her apartment in Dollet and watching TV, gently shushing the newborn baby on her lap.  
  
"Shh... Comercials are over, little Seifer... Shush." The news returned, and Fujin was not paying attention to it, well, not until they mentioned his name.  
  
"Sorceress Azteca was assassinated yesterday by Seifer Almasy. This brought bittersweet feelings about the nations, but we have an interveiw with him here. Let's take a look." Fujin watched intently. The camera went to Seifer, who looked impatient and tired, looking oddly at a reporter. So... he was alive...!  
  
"Mr. Almasy has a child of 10 months, and was devastated by the attacks to such an extent that he killed the sorceress..." Fujin was enraged. She kicked in the T.V, and stormed off to put the baby in it's crib, reminding herself to change it's name.  
  
So... he impreganted someone else... and the baby was born ten months ago... Whereas I was pregnant two months after... On her way back into the living room, she realized how hard it had been to afford that small used TV, and how she just ruined it...  
  
"Fuck..." She whispered, forking her fingers through her hair. Just forget him, she kept reminding herself. Just forget it. He is an ass, and he always will be. As pictures of this "ass" ran through her mind, she got dizzy, and tears fell from her eye, and she plopped on the sofa, praying to sleep forever.  
  
****  
  
"Now, where the fuck...?" Seifer muttered looking around the Dollet residental buildings. He had received an anonymous tip that his dearly beloved Fujin was still alive, and so now, he was searching through Dollet looking for a clue as to where her location was.  
  
"Fuck!" Mimiced the never been claimed baby in his arms. He named her Fujin, since he had no idea what her name was.  
  
"No, no, no. Don't say *that* as your first word! God dammit! That's a bad word, never say that again," the single father scolded.  
  
"...Daddy!"  
  
"That's better..." He heard a crash from an apartment complex, then a sizzle, and he wondered what this was. Laden with curiosity, he trotted over to the entrance, and hit the button to the fourth floor, since that was where the sound came from. This awakened the resident, who was indeed Fujin, from her "supposed" eternal sleep, and she answered in a lazy, fed-up-with-life voice:  
  
"What the fuck... do you want?"  
  
"Uhh... Who's this?"  
  
"Well, geez, I dunno, I'm not the fucking one who's running around fucking Dollet and pressing fucking buttons... Who the fuck is this, is what I'm getting at..."  
  
"Fujin." He stated, praying deep inside.  
  
"Who the fuck? Come up." He heard a beep, opening the door, and he felt as though maybe it wasn't Fujin. And by the way she said "Come up," he felt as though he had entered "The Godfather," or something like that... He trudged up the stairs, and walked in through the open door of her apartment, and seen her, standing next to a smoking kicked-in TV.  
  
"Fuu...! Shit! You're alive!" She did not look shocked or happy about his coming, almost indifferent.  
  
"Your baby... is in the next room." She said, sitting on the sofa.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, but you're in this room... Look... Fujin, I'm so shocked to see you alive! Why don't you seem surprised?"  
  
"Who'd you fuck to get that one...?" She asked him, quite bluntly, standing up.  
  
"...FUCK!" The little baby in Seifer's arms shouted.  
  
"Hey, what I tell you about that word!?" Seifer scolded, again.  
  
"Sorry, Dadda." Seifer set the baby on the sofa.  
  
"Yeah, okay. Anyway. No one! I didn't fuck anyone..." He protested, truly hurt, but not surprised.  
  
"...Oh? You had it on your own?" She snapped, glaring at him.  
  
"No... I found it, in the rubble." Memories of a baby screaming before she had a concussion lingered, but, was that the same baby?  
  
"...Really?" Fujin nearly stammered, filled with a relief that she did not understand.  
  
"I swear." Fujin could feel her insides breaking into tiny, irreplacable peices as she found herself, struggling not to cry, in Seifer's arms.  
  
"I love you, Fujin."  
  
"I... love you too." She said, nearly choking on the lump in her throat.  
  
"Hey... Fuu, you don't have to be so strong all time... You can cry..."  
  
"N-no..." She stammered, not able to remember any other words as he held her.  
  
"I know you need to cry sometimes, so, ... I want you to do it in my arms..." Maybe he was right. Am I weaker than this? She asked herself.  
  
"Seifer..." That was the next word in her vocabulary.  
  
"Shh, it's okay." And he held her close, as she wept. She wept about Shanai, she wept about Raijin, she wept about Balamb, she wept about missed time with Seifer, and she wept, mainly for, the love she now had.  
  
  
  
_The_End_ 


End file.
